Diving vs. Relationship

Every relationships we have been through in our life is just like we're diving. Before we jump into water, we prepare the fundamental equipments and get ourselves ready in it. We check, we prepare, we make a leap and jump into water. Splashhhhh~~

At first, we will be floating on the surface before we really get down into water. The waves may be rough, hitting us now and then. Soon enough, we confirm that we can safely get down and then, we descend slowly. When we have descended to a certain level, we start drifting around, searching and looking for the beautiful things. Well, of course we may have expected to see something beautiful before we're in it. These process is just like what would happen when we put ourselves in a relationship. We expected something would happen between each other and most of the time, we're blinded by the beautiful moments that we have. Sooner or later, there's something we didn't take into the account would follow by, the current (means the dramas as well).

The current is unpredictable as if the dramas or problems occurred when we have a relationship. It happens spontaneously, unpredictable.. We quarrel with our partner, fight each other and we get hurt, heart broken and lost if we didn't overcome it. Like the current, we would never know how strong the current is, how far it would push us to. If we wouldn't have the strength to fight and overcome it, we might end up being pushed by it to a middle of nowhere. And we're lost in the water; like we lost ourselves in a relationship. And follows by panicking, anxious and struggling.
At the second thought, we will question ourselves :
"Why must we put ourselves in this hell? We lost and there's nothing we had got.. What's that for?"
Well, if we would be able to fight and overcome the current. We'll find that there are more beautiful things ahead waiting for us. We bring the relationship to the next level and keep going on..

Among divers, we have a quote:
"A bad dive is a great dive cos' every dives is actually a new dive."
Yeah.. Eventhough the water is muddy, blurred and the visibility of the water is so bad. But still, it's considered as a new experience which not everyone else would be able to experience. Again, it's just like the dramas happened in the relationship.. We would never have the same experience again. But only is it dramatic enough to bring us down??

Remember, we're just a human being. Ground is where we belong to. In the end, we still have to ascend to the surface cos' the air is running low, we eventually need to take a break, reinstate and change a new oxygen tank and get ready to make another dive again. Having a relationship doesn't mean that the couple would have to stick together 24/7, 365 days.. Both of them need some break time, have their private moments to do whatever they feel like want to do, restore anything they needed and get together again. That's how we do before we make another dive. Basically, diving and relationship are having the same theories.. Understood it, making use of it, we could surely be able to enjoy the next level of excitement.

Diving and relationship.. There're exciting. There're always anticipating. There may get us exhausted, make us feel like wanna give up in the halfway if we are not able to fit ourselves in it. Yet, it can be harmful, in the worst case, it can be fatal.. Cos' diving is an extreme sport after all! (Aren't we always reading the news about the gf/bf suicided when their relationship blown off??)

Well, all I'm getting is just to share the common things between diving and relationship. If it's good, it would be so fantastic, and so beautiful as it seems to be. Otherwise, we just put our ass in hell again, and live in the misery, traumatize us day by day and lost...

That one perfect thing

How fast it was..  
How many years had gone by.. Day by day, year by year.. 
How many people had entered in our life and how many people gone away.. 
How much we wish that we could live the life that we wanted to.. 
And how would it become as we would encounter a lot of unknown obstacles which already are there waiting for us? 
How would it turn out to be?  

There is a void in me, an empty place which can only be filled by one thing. 
Seeking and searching for that one perfect fit, that thing will fill that void.. 
Money, achievements, careers, materials, relationships, power, fame and dreams.. 
But these things, are so attractive they seem to be. However, it still couldn't truly fulfill the inner longing.. 

I don't know what that is, that one can fill the void. And I wonder what it is.. 
Sometimes. No.. Most of the time, I was blinded by all the things that I had seen.. 
Seeing really isn't a believing sometimes, ain't it?  
I can't keep sitting, waiting and hoping..  
Going on, move forward and I won't turn back.. 
Fill the void, by searching that one perfect thing to find my heart its home..

Hide and seek

Just like usual, I went to starbucks nearby my campus after class. Having flu and sore throat, and late for class for 40 eff-ing minutes (thanks to the "LRT's unusual delayed"). I thought today isn't going to be a good day. While I was reading newspaper, there's something caught my attention.. There were two kids playing hide and seek in starbucks..

When we were a child, hide and seek was one of our most favorite childhood games and we would spent a long time to have fun with. Hiding inside a cupboard, cabinet, under the bed or anywhere else that could fit us in. With age, our size is getting bigger and we stop playing hide and seek. But there're certain things we do not stop hiding, we hide our opinions, our mistakes, our flaws, our past, our emotions and of course, our secrets. We play the hide role and hope that there's no one would be able to discover it. There's one thing for sure, we couldn't avoid the "seekers" as long as we have hidden something inside ourselves.. In the worst case, we might even hide from the law (faked income reports and etc.. you think about it..).

The more we hide, the more it would somehow unwittingly be revealed, discovered by someone through our personalities, our actions or our words. What follows, isn't what we could be able to control, the "someone" - seeker, appeared and intended to discover what we have had hidden behind as their curiosity was tickled by what they had observed on us. They wanted to know more and explore. Therefore, the game has begun..

In times, we hid and concealed the secrets within us as deep as we could. So, it's up to the gamers who is better in hiding or better in seeking. As a hider, we even put lies layer by layer to conceal and the seekers are trying to tear it apart to look into the core. Soon, the troubles and dramas follow by.

In the end of the game, there are only two results for always. The hiders win or the seekers. If hiders win, they are so glad and relieved that no one is going to know what they had hidden within them. And, if seekers win, the game isn't where it ends. It's just a whole new beginning again with four stages of the outcome of revealing the secrets:
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
and, Acceptance... 

Opinions.. The calls that confirm our answer we already have?

When we're heading towards an outcome that's hard or too horrible to face, that's when we go looking for a second opinion. We look for opinions from someone else hoping that we will get the opinion which we think it's good.. 

Perhaps, I shall say that we somehow already know what's the answer that we're looking for and we just need to confirm our inner calling by asking others to check out who has the same thinking as ours.. In the end, we would surely get the opinion which is exactly same as what we have in our mind.. So, we accepted the opinion given by that person and in the mean time, the confirmation has been done.. 

Sometimes, the answer we get just confirms our worst fears or our answer which had been made before we look for opinion from others.. But sometimes, it can shed new light on the problem, make you see it in a whole new way. The fears are fading away, new light shedding through the path and we are relief that we had finished off the doubts or problems that we got.. But..

But the problem is, we have a lot of questions about the new way that we already started going on.. After all the opinions have been heard and every point of view has been considered, we finally find what we were after.. The truth! But the truth isn't where it ends , that's just where we begin again with a whole new set of questions..

Starbucks(outdoor) in KLCC

After the only class I have on every Thursday which ends on 9.30am.. I'm having my favorite iced mocha at starbukcs in KLCC again. Sitting at the same table, same drinks, same views and do nothing.. I didn't even know how many times I had been there for these few months, I could even recognize all the staff. And today, I finally had a short conversation with one of the female senior staff..

"I would like to have one Iced mocha, grande size and without cream."
"Won't you like to try other drinks instead of mocha? Your order is always the same" She asked me while she's making my Iced mocha.
"Haha, I came here too frequent and you even know I only ask for iced mocha. It's the same all the time, I guess it would still be the same", I said.
"You don't like the taste of pure coffee?" She looked really curious..
"I do, but I love mocha the most."
"Enjoy your mocha, I hope I would make other drinks for you in one day." She passed the mocha to me with a grin.
"Haha.. It's hard to say that.. I like the iced mocha here cos' you guys shaken it thoroughly, unlike Pavilion, You could see a thick layer of concentrated choco at the bottom of the cup."
"Really? So the mocha here tasted better?" 
"Well, if it isn't, I don't think I will come here every Thursday & have the same drink." Replied with a grin.
"Hahaha.. See you next Thursday and have a nice day." 
"You too, have a good day. Thanks for the good mocha!"

I felt kinda delighted after having the short conversation with her. Spending an hour at there, reading book, listening to musics and thinking of what should I write in this week. Seems like I have lesser inspiration recently.. Clueless and have no inspiration.. Everytime I started writing something, I deleted all at the end. Cos' I don't feel right on what I'd written..

I think I should change my writing style like what I used to. More variety? And more craps? lol.. Who knows.. Sometimes I just shocked myself after writing what I got in my mind. I hope I would have another shock soon.. lol