Connecting and disconnected

Year by year.. People come into our life just like Touch n' Go. Some stayed and some left. When we looked back to where we were, we somehow will reminisce the great times we spent together among with our friends. We will miss that, but we didn't really ask for that to be happened again, for some reasons. Cos' there's a long period of disconnection between us..

Think about it.. Did they leave us? Or we, ourselves, are actually the one who have left them?

In times, we will find that there are some people who are always around us. We share most of the hardships and joys together, have real great moments like we ever had.. So, we somehow stick together, like forming a group of few people. Sooner or later, the other people will categorize us as a group. Whatever gathering we would have, we would gather all the group members and show up together. When the bond is getting stronger, we even plan for the future. Where and when shall we go for a vacation? and even imagine that would we still be together as a group in the future..

Who would you call when you have something to tell or when you face some problems and you need a listener? You check your contacts full of hundreds or even thousands of numbers.. Scrolling up and down.. Who would you call eventually? The people who you would call, are the friends you needed the most. A friend in need, is a friend indeed. Don't it? :)

For me, I like to have good conversations with my friends. Even sometimes we were just gossiping, talking trash and making jokes.. If you feel good in the middle of the conversation, then it is. Sometimes, we just wish that the time hasn't come as we didn't want to end the good conversation we are having.. cos' this doesn't come easily!

For the friends (especially someone!) who live in some godforsaken place hundreds miles away from me. I just wish that we could meet up a.s.a.p. Chatting all day long just like what we used to. I hope all of you are well and safe.


Written by,
Ryan Ng

A crap about everything that happened in just one week

I'd been having a merry-go-around with all the craps that I brought to myself for months.. too much why.. A couple of day ago, I had a short conversation with my godbrother after we left the mall. Spitting out my problems with him..

He told me that :"From what I heard, you seem to be having problems. But in the end of your conversation, I think that you already have the solutions. I think what you need to do is just to take action. That's it!"

I was speechless and I acknowledged it for quite sometimes actually. Just that I didn't really take a single step forward. Fooling myself and wasting times. Well.. this is the truth at least.. I must waste no time, plan had been made, just start it already..
A lot of things happened in these few weeks, not only me, including the people I really care about. They are all trapped in hardship.. works, family, relationship and even some unavoidable-annoying-bullshits.. Exchanging point of view, unleashing the deep-down feelings and sharing. Hope they are well and safe every day :)

When we really take some time out to get to know what's happening to our dearest friends, we will find that there's always a story behind their smiley face.. Covered their sadden-looking inner with a happy face. But things always doesn't seem how it's supposed to be. That's why, I always say that we shouldn't take things for granted. Of course, we can't completely do so, cos' we're just human beings after all.. Just not to take 'every'things for granted. That's it.

Chinese New Year is so near as if I could touch it.. Well, soon enough, it comes and it goes.. At some points, I feel like this year is the year I should accomplish a big goal for myself. A big one.. I'm still figuring it out that what's the next big goal. It could be made up from many small goals.. I'm trying to accomplish them one by one.. It's not just about talking big and not doing a shit thing. I'm gonna take actions, in fact, I already have :)

I think I'm just back to who I was. Realized that I wasn't really being myself for sometimes for some reasons and I just got myself in hell again, but it wasn't that bad after all.. Cos' things seemed to change in a good way, I guess.. I have a rigid personality, but I'm not an egotism person.. At least I've been told that I'm sort of having 'rational egoism'.. That's pretty good, huh.. isn't it? lol..

Another night just gone by, another crap had been written.. Don't take it too personal and serious when you read my craps, cos I'm just sharing the craps. As I said before, you may not get what I'm getting at. (This gotta be the one last time I'm saying this, I'm fucking sick of saying it! =p)

Yet, to all the silent-craps-readers, I wish every single one of you A Happy Chinese New Year with all the good energies, well-spirits and happiness fall on ya.. For those who has a career, may you all be blessed with Superb Prosperous throughout the year! 'Ong ah!! Huat ah!! Better don't pokkai and get screwed by your boss ah!! (Screw them! Before they try to screw you!) LOL~
Ciao, people! xoxo


Written by,
Ryan Ng

潜梦 (Diving.. in dream..)

当我看见有许多水泡环绕着我身旁
没有助浮衣 没有潜水镜 没有氧气筒
这一刻 我才发现我正在潜在海水中
我所看到的一切是如此的清晰 透明

我自由自在地在水中翱翔
没有负荷 没有烦恼 只顾着寻寻觅觅不停的前进
我不感到寂寞也不会惆怅
因为只有这样 我才能解脱 轻轻松松地四处游荡

退潮 涨潮 也只不过是吸引力的作用
也许是月球渴望着拥有海洋的蓝星
它不断尝试把海洋吸附在它的身上
但那距离太遥远 它只能无奈的归让

我自由自在地在水中翱翔
没有负荷 没有烦恼 只顾着寻寻觅觅不停的前进
我不感到寂寞也不会惆怅
因为只有这样 我才能解脱 轻轻松松地四处游荡

也许太喜欢 也许太梦幻 当我再睁开眼
原来这一切 只不过是一场太真实的 美梦..



著 - 黄瑞铭

夜

黑夜的凉风能否再冷一点？
仿佛深夜里的海风，无情又冷酷。
为何深夜会是如此的寂静，
寂静得让我觉得更清醒，更孤独。

我不是个夜猫子，只因为我喜欢深夜的空气。
她是如此冷淡，却令我多么沉迷也让我感到心疼。

周末的夜晚，令我想站在山顶上，
让我的眼神停留在辉煌又迷乱的城市。
手握着酒瓶，抬起头把啤酒狂饮，
酒的甘苦却无法让我把烦恼抛在脑后。

我不是个夜猫子，只因为我喜欢深夜的宁静。
望着漆黑的她，不停叹着息.. 我的未来在什么地方？

著 - 黄瑞铭

Diving vs. Relationship

Every relationships we have been through in our life is just like we're diving. Before we jump into water, we prepare the fundamental equipments and get ourselves ready in it. We check, we prepare, we make a leap and jump into water. Splashhhhh~~

At first, we will be floating on the surface before we really get down into water. The waves may be rough, hitting us now and then. Soon enough, we confirm that we can safely get down and then, we descend slowly. When we have descended to a certain level, we start drifting around, searching and looking for the beautiful things. Well, of course we may have expected to see something beautiful before we're in it. These process is just like what would happen when we put ourselves in a relationship. We expected something would happen between each other and most of the time, we're blinded by the beautiful moments that we have. Sooner or later, there's something we didn't take into the account would follow by, the current (means the dramas as well).

The current is unpredictable as if the dramas or problems occurred when we have a relationship. It happens spontaneously, unpredictable.. We quarrel with our partner, fight each other and we get hurt, heart broken and lost if we didn't overcome it. Like the current, we would never know how strong the current is, how far it would push us to. If we wouldn't have the strength to fight and overcome it, we might end up being pushed by it to a middle of nowhere. And we're lost in the water; like we lost ourselves in a relationship. And follows by panicking, anxious and struggling.
At the second thought, we will question ourselves :
"Why must we put ourselves in this hell? We lost and there's nothing we had got.. What's that for?"
Well, if we would be able to fight and overcome the current. We'll find that there are more beautiful things ahead waiting for us. We bring the relationship to the next level and keep going on..

Among divers, we have a quote:
"A bad dive is a great dive cos' every dives is actually a new dive."
Yeah.. Eventhough the water is muddy, blurred and the visibility of the water is so bad. But still, it's considered as a new experience which not everyone else would be able to experience. Again, it's just like the dramas happened in the relationship.. We would never have the same experience again. But only is it dramatic enough to bring us down??

Remember, we're just a human being. Ground is where we belong to. In the end, we still have to ascend to the surface cos' the air is running low, we eventually need to take a break, reinstate and change a new oxygen tank and get ready to make another dive again. Having a relationship doesn't mean that the couple would have to stick together 24/7, 365 days.. Both of them need some break time, have their private moments to do whatever they feel like want to do, restore anything they needed and get together again. That's how we do before we make another dive. Basically, diving and relationship are having the same theories.. Understood it, making use of it, we could surely be able to enjoy the next level of excitement.

Diving and relationship.. There're exciting. There're always anticipating. There may get us exhausted, make us feel like wanna give up in the halfway if we are not able to fit ourselves in it. Yet, it can be harmful, in the worst case, it can be fatal.. Cos' diving is an extreme sport after all! (Aren't we always reading the news about the gf/bf suicided when their relationship blown off??)

Well, all I'm getting is just to share the common things between diving and relationship. If it's good, it would be so fantastic, and so beautiful as it seems to be. Otherwise, we just put our ass in hell again, and live in the misery, traumatize us day by day and lost...