Hide and seek

Just like usual, I went to starbucks nearby my campus after class. Having flu and sore throat, and late for class for 40 eff-ing minutes (thanks to the "LRT's unusual delayed"). I thought today isn't going to be a good day. While I was reading newspaper, there's something caught my attention.. There were two kids playing hide and seek in starbucks..

When we were a child, hide and seek was one of our most favorite childhood games and we would spent a long time to have fun with. Hiding inside a cupboard, cabinet, under the bed or anywhere else that could fit us in. With age, our size is getting bigger and we stop playing hide and seek. But there're certain things we do not stop hiding, we hide our opinions, our mistakes, our flaws, our past, our emotions and of course, our secrets. We play the hide role and hope that there's no one would be able to discover it. There's one thing for sure, we couldn't avoid the "seekers" as long as we have hidden something inside ourselves.. In the worst case, we might even hide from the law (faked income reports and etc.. you think about it..).

The more we hide, the more it would somehow unwittingly be revealed, discovered by someone through our personalities, our actions or our words. What follows, isn't what we could be able to control, the "someone" - seeker, appeared and intended to discover what we have had hidden behind as their curiosity was tickled by what they had observed on us. They wanted to know more and explore. Therefore, the game has begun..

In times, we hid and concealed the secrets within us as deep as we could. So, it's up to the gamers who is better in hiding or better in seeking. As a hider, we even put lies layer by layer to conceal and the seekers are trying to tear it apart to look into the core. Soon, the troubles and dramas follow by.

In the end of the game, there are only two results for always. The hiders win or the seekers. If hiders win, they are so glad and relieved that no one is going to know what they had hidden within them. And, if seekers win, the game isn't where it ends. It's just a whole new beginning again with four stages of the outcome of revealing the secrets:
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
and, Acceptance... 

Opinions.. The calls that confirm our answer we already have?

When we're heading towards an outcome that's hard or too horrible to face, that's when we go looking for a second opinion. We look for opinions from someone else hoping that we will get the opinion which we think it's good.. 

Perhaps, I shall say that we somehow already know what's the answer that we're looking for and we just need to confirm our inner calling by asking others to check out who has the same thinking as ours.. In the end, we would surely get the opinion which is exactly same as what we have in our mind.. So, we accepted the opinion given by that person and in the mean time, the confirmation has been done.. 

Sometimes, the answer we get just confirms our worst fears or our answer which had been made before we look for opinion from others.. But sometimes, it can shed new light on the problem, make you see it in a whole new way. The fears are fading away, new light shedding through the path and we are relief that we had finished off the doubts or problems that we got.. But..

But the problem is, we have a lot of questions about the new way that we already started going on.. After all the opinions have been heard and every point of view has been considered, we finally find what we were after.. The truth! But the truth isn't where it ends , that's just where we begin again with a whole new set of questions..

Starbucks(outdoor) in KLCC

After the only class I have on every Thursday which ends on 9.30am.. I'm having my favorite iced mocha at starbukcs in KLCC again. Sitting at the same table, same drinks, same views and do nothing.. I didn't even know how many times I had been there for these few months, I could even recognize all the staff. And today, I finally had a short conversation with one of the female senior staff..

"I would like to have one Iced mocha, grande size and without cream."
"Won't you like to try other drinks instead of mocha? Your order is always the same" She asked me while she's making my Iced mocha.
"Haha, I came here too frequent and you even know I only ask for iced mocha. It's the same all the time, I guess it would still be the same", I said.
"You don't like the taste of pure coffee?" She looked really curious..
"I do, but I love mocha the most."
"Enjoy your mocha, I hope I would make other drinks for you in one day." She passed the mocha to me with a grin.
"Haha.. It's hard to say that.. I like the iced mocha here cos' you guys shaken it thoroughly, unlike Pavilion, You could see a thick layer of concentrated choco at the bottom of the cup."
"Really? So the mocha here tasted better?" 
"Well, if it isn't, I don't think I will come here every Thursday & have the same drink." Replied with a grin.
"Hahaha.. See you next Thursday and have a nice day." 
"You too, have a good day. Thanks for the good mocha!"

I felt kinda delighted after having the short conversation with her. Spending an hour at there, reading book, listening to musics and thinking of what should I write in this week. Seems like I have lesser inspiration recently.. Clueless and have no inspiration.. Everytime I started writing something, I deleted all at the end. Cos' I don't feel right on what I'd written..

I think I should change my writing style like what I used to. More variety? And more craps? lol.. Who knows.. Sometimes I just shocked myself after writing what I got in my mind. I hope I would have another shock soon.. lol

Indefinable feelings..

I've been thinking about a matter since last weekend.. What should I do to spend the free time? And someone told me I have to find something meaningful to do.. Yea.. I'm thinking of that, but I still couldn't get the answer.. All these days, everytime I woke up from my bed, I wanted to to write something down but I couldn't do so.. I don't have the inspirations and ideas.. There're lot of times that I'd written something down and then I deleted it.. 


Going out for a meal with friends, shop around, going for a movie or karaoke are most common activities for a student in KL.. I love watching movies, but I'm not really a cinema person.. Karaoke? Once in a long while.. Needless to say, I shop only when I have extra $$.. Besides all these activities, I rather.. I prefer going to beach or somewhere peaceful where I could walk around or sightseeing.. 


I have a thought of going to beach alone, backpack.. Maybe Langkawi.. Well, frankly, I wish I could go to Bali.. Sitting in a good bar or pub, grab some drinks, chit chat, enjoy the leisure and peacefulness.. Just as simple as that.. And this is what I really want to do.. But.. Alone? It's just a thought.. only a thought.. Who knows sooner or later, I would just pack up and get out from where I stay now..


Someone might have misunderstood me and told me I sounded like I'm lonely.. Well, as a matter of fact, I'm NOT lonely at all. It's just a feeling that you may have when you really feel that :"I think I really need to do something to refresh myself." Oh ya.. Everyone has different ways to ease themselves, you have yours and I have mine. This is just the way how and what I want it to go.. Just take me to the beach...

归宿

总是一个人穿梭在人群中
擦身而过了多少陌生面孔
一个人站在拥挤的捷运上
一路的风景让我感到惆怅


窗外的风景还是依然不变
过去的一切我不想去留恋
我有理想和目标要去实现
跟带给我痛苦的人说再见


我一直在寻找属于我的落脚处
不停的回顾有时让我感到无助
就算路途会多么的坎坷和辛苦
我还是会抬起头一直的往前走
走到让我落脚的归宿 不再回顾..


-著-
黄瑞铭

Touch 'n Go

Living in the city where it looks so wonderful in the night. Walking on the streets which fulled with hundreds or even thousands of strangers most of the days.. New faces, never been seen before. Stumbled across the familiar one, but never knew each other.

"How far are we to one another?"
This is what we think of when someone we know is/are with us..

"How close are we to one another?"
This is what we think of when we newly meet and get to know someone..

People get into our life as if using Touch 'n Go to tab on the panel. We get on board, we travel through times and places then we drop at our destination. Only the special persons, would travel all the way long with us, like our family, best female/male friend/s, our life partner and even some people who we could barely notice them out that he's/she's/they are (considered including in good and bad persons) actually by our side all the time. We need to pay just a little bit of attention to find them out. But most of us, and most of the time, we do miss it.

Every now and again, look around. You, willl never be alone..

A new journey has begun.. Let's talk craps!!

I've been thinking of having a blog again* ever since I started posting some craps in my Facebook and surprisingly, I have some readers. Their compliments had made me concerning on having a new blog. Well, at least I should have a proper place to keep my craps. I feel Facebook is too 'crowded' sometimes.. So, here it is, my new blog. A place where I trash my craps and hope that someone would like it. There would be a lot of things coming on. Stay tune!